one word for 2012

so, I’m 4 days late for any sort of resolution.  oh well. what can I say? I’m just a “running a little late” kind of gal. anyway, the past few days I’ve been thinking and praying about this up coming year. I wrote a little journal entry on the 1st that said something like this:

“a new year. another new year. there are so many dreams and good intentions that are thought about on this day. resolutions that that usually don’t get very far. that usually never see june, let alone december. but here I am…thinking about resolutions again…”

I have a list, of course, that goes on and on. All my little desires for myself and for this year.

All the things I see as failures in myself that in my heart I really do want to change-even if my real problem is that I have a lack of discipline… ack. let’s not talk about that.

See, my husbuddy said something as we were working on our “goal” list… {remember this post  from last year? yes, I realize that I was way too on top of it last year, thinking about it before it was even the first!}

anyway, he said that he didn’t want our goal list for this year to be too long, because he was worried about me. ME? I asked. He said that he knows that I’m a “glass half empty” girl and I get too sad at the end of the year when I see too many things on our goal list that aren’t checked off.

eek. way to stick it to me, sweetheart.

and so true.

I knew that I always kind of pretended to be a “half glass FULL” girl, I even tried to fool myself half the time, but I was hoping that no one else noticed that I’m not really that girl… o man. talk about humbling. Husbuddy noticed my little mask.

doh!

anyway. it got me thinking. I still have a list of resolutions and goals {um, exercise! pray! read the bible! draw every day! paint more! get out of debt! have a good savings!…yup, totally typical.} that I want to hang on to…

but maybe I need to really just focus on one thing.

maybe I just need one word.

contentment

contentment.

yes. that’s the “one word” I came up with.

definition: content

adj 1.mentally or emotionally satisfied with things as they are

2.assenting to or willing to accept circumstances, a proposed course of action, etc

vb 3.( tr ) to make (oneself or another person) content or satisfied:to content oneself with property

n 4.peace of mind; mental or emotional satisfaction

um. do you see that noun (number 4)definition? PEACE of MIND. um hello. I need that. I also totally need to remember to be “satisfied with the way things are” because God made today! He gave me this moment! it’s a gift! I can’t spend the whole year trying to “fix myself” through resolutions without being focused and content with who God has made me to be. But I think it’s more than this definition can describe.

This morning it really hit me as I read my study. I’ve never looked at one of my favorite sections of scripture, Philippians 4:1-13, under the lens of seeking contentment. My bible study helped me to realize that my thoughts often get in the way of contentment- I need to focus on what is good, encouraging and true (v.8-9) instead of discouragement, pettiness and destructive thinking as I so often do(v.2-3). Anxiety and worry ruins anyone’s contentment(v.6-7) and the peace of God which surpasses understanding can not be given to me unless I let go of that anxiety and trust God. I need to set aside my resistance to learn (v.11) and my independent and planning nature(v.13) that often tries to do my own thing and go my own way without consulting with the Tour Guide.

Paul says in Phil. 4:11-13 “…for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content…in any any every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

True contentment comes only as a gift from God, even to Paul.

Since my husbuddy pointed out that I’m a girl who looks at her world as glass half empty- I realized that I’m always disappointed with things. I always wish things were better. One day I’m not happy at work, the next day I’m not happy with staying at home all day! One day I’m not happy that I’ve spent all my free time with people who wanted to just hang out and I’m drained that I haven’t had any “me” time and the next day I’m lonely because no one wants to hang out. ack! what is wrong with me? I wish that things worked out differently. Big things in life sometimes go so wrong, don’t they? I question why God does the things He does and often times I try to fix them myself.

I’m ashamed to say that but I’m just being honest.

eek.

in that little sketch above I drew with a blue watercolor pencil rain coming down.

This year, 2012, my desire is to have contentment to wash over me like rain.

Contentment is my prayer.

can I get an AMEN?

It’s not going to be as easy as that. I realize that. It’s not my nature at all to let go. I realize that to have this word be real in my life I have to be diligent in some of my other goals (i.e.: read my bible, pray every day, and soak up time with Husbuddy!) but in the end, true contentment is really a gift because I’m not going to be able to “just be content” on my own. It’s my prayer, and it’s what I’ll work and pray for…

even if I’m only completely content for one whole day this year.

ha. but I’m going to seek to be content more than that (I mean, that’s the whole point of this, right?)

so who’s going to hold me accountable?

hee hee.

what about you? any one word come to mind that you’re going to focus on this year?

Happy 2012, friends!

xoxo-kimberly renee

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0 Responses to one word for 2012

  1. Piper January 16, 2012 at 1:28 pm #

    WOW… I think you may be living my life…. my word, is content/contentment, yeah I know that’s 2 words. And I have been so frazzled that I haven’t actually written my post for my word…maybe my word should have been non-committal…because I am having a hard time in writing that post. I love that you are real in this post. I pray that I too, can be real and find that true contentment that only the Lord can provide. So glad I stopped by from Word of the Year link party….

  2. SheilaG January 16, 2012 at 2:19 pm #

    Saw your link at TLC party- that same block of Scripture recently hit me the same way- as the recipe for contentment. Thank you so much for sharing. I love your watercolor, too, very nice.

  3. Liberty January 16, 2012 at 2:27 pm #

    I know this word is challenging:: check out my hopes for it here: http://bit.ly/AACJEx
    Blessings!

  4. amanda January 16, 2012 at 2:29 pm #

    I love that you sought out contentment and God showed it to you through those verses. Thank you so much for sharing. It is a struggle I find myself thinking I’ve conquered and then God will show me areas that I still need work. I’m visiting from Layla. So glad I did!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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