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sunday thoughts

“For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, where as wordly grief produces death.”

2 Cor. 7:10

for some reason, yesterday, this verse really stuck out to me. i couldn’t put a finger on why though. so i thought about it a while. and i read the little footnotes at the bottom of the page. the footnotes say(roughly):

godly grief = remorse caused by having lost God’s approval … and the consequence is a resolve to reverse conduct & LIVE FOR GOD.

wordly grief = remorse brought about by losing the world’s approval… leads to a resolve to regain that approval & this produces death (or divine judgement).

(emphasis mine.)

i thought about that and wrote that down in my journal. it is lingering and i can’t stop thinking about it.

whom do i serve? Jesus says i can’t serve 2 masters! i wrote this down in all caps in my journal too. God is trying to show me something…

IMG_1451_Izushi cherry and lantern

i’m convicted because at the end of many days, i am filled with worldly grief. i worry about my job. i obsess over it. i let it consume me with bitterness. i worry about friends and whether they like me or not. (totally dumb, i know, but you’ve all been there, am i right?) i worry about whether what i do fulfills me. i feel empty when i’ve tried to do things with my own strength. like anything i could do could fill my heart. my soul.

i’m totally convicted that my frustrations and the bitterness that i am so often filled with is worldly grief. i regret things i’ve done or haven’t done in my day because it may look bad to others. i worry about what people think about me.

and it hits me: worldly grief is when i’m focused ON ME.

i long to live each day open to godly grief. because godly grief means i’d be focused on Christ. my heart would be in the right place and i’d repent of my selfish nature daily, with no regret.

oh Lord, help me to have my focus right. to serve YOU, my One True Master. when i get caught up in the troubles of this world, may my grief be godly, seeking only your salvation, repenting(turning away) from my selfish nature.

And i remember that my word of the year is JOY. i realize that the first step to true joy is not trying to find it in this world- but to repent of my selfishness – to have godly grief.

***

i am so thankful when the Lord reveals something to me… even if it’s hard like this and convicts me the core. i’m thankful because it means that He wants me to draw ever closer to Him.

and i realize that i want to draw closer to Him too.

(can i get an amen?)

thanks for listening to my heart, friends. has God been teaching you anything lately? calling you to Himself in new ways? i’d love to hear about it!

xo-kimberly renee

{ps- i promise to get back to japan photos soon!}

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on contentment

my one word for 2012 was “contentment.” i blogged about it here back in January if you want to see my thoughts. i wasn’t sure where this word would lead. i honestly thought i’d talk about it more too. i guess since it’s a hard word, i haven’t been quick to talk about it… {shy glance}…so i thought i’d give a 9-month update.

contentment has been THE word of the year. no doubt about that. from not knowing where we were moving when we started the year, to Husbuddy deciding to do one more year of schooling at Gordon Conwell Seminary. from being sad about leaving friends, to all the adventures moving to a new city and new culture. from missing friends and family, to being thankful for those friends and family.  from being lonely in a new place, to learning how to be best friends with each other again.  from feeling without purpose to seeing God provide in more ways than i can count.

this has been a year that has so far tested my ability to be content.

but that was kinda the point.

i can’t be content on my own.

i need God for that. God needs to be MY contentment. He needs to be MY everything. i am nothing without Him. i can’t depend on my own ability to be happy and satisified. like i said before, contentment is a gift from God. i need to accept that gift now, 9 months later, more than ever.

 

here’s another verse on contentment:

 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Hebrews 13:5

that’s even kind of what i talked about last week from Luke. it all connects, right? 😉

i’m still on the journey of learning to be content:: with what i have, where He’s placed me, and who i am… and the fact, that God will never leave me nor forsake me. i have no need to worry about anything. but even as i say that, it’s like i have to pound it into my brain. it’s a journey. maybe the next couple of months i will find more rest in the gift of contentment…or maybe i have a lot more to learn.

xo-kimberly renee.

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