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a word for the year… in February.

Oh HIiiiii blog…. it’s been a month since I was last here… or more.

Ha. Well, let’s just say January is always rough on me. I had a hard time getting my act together to write anything. I have had this post in my mind since, oh, January 4th or 5th? Anyway, I just wanted to share, more for personal accountability then anything else, my word for the year. I’ve posted about this a few times in the past… like here, and here.

Last year my word was HOPE. Mainly because I dealt with a lot of panic and post partum at the beginning of the year last year. But it was the perfect word to carry me through another hard year.

This year, it seems cliche to say, my word is GRACE.

There was a point in the last year, I’m not exactly sure when, sometime in the fall when I remember crying before bed and talking to Husbuddy about all the things that were stressing me out. And I remember him saying to me, it has stuck with me clear as day, “Kim, it’s like you think that no one else has to be perfect, that they are all covered in the grace of Christ, but YOU expect yourself to be perfect. You put such impossible expectations on yourself and you hold yourself to such a high standard that there is no way you can meet that! You need Jesus’s Grace to meet you in all of this!”

wisdom right there, am I right?

So, the word :: Grace.

I need the grace of Jesus to permeate EVERY.SINGLE.INCH of my heart, my soul, my brain.

like I said, cliche. But I can’t get over it because this verse keeps popping in my head:

“For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace” John 1:16

I mean, wow. Grace UPON Grace.

Like a cup overflowing with grace. That is what I’m picturing in my head. It’s hard to imagine when I’m such a cup half empty kind of person sometimes!

Grace for TODAY.

Grace for my heart.

I was hoping to make a pretty picture like I have before to hang and remind myself of my word… but hey. That didn’t happen the entire month so I’m just going for this blog post. I mean, that’s kinda my word right?

Grace for myself when I can’t get everything done.

Grace TO myself. Speak grace TO myself! Not condemnation!

Grace for those around me when they don’t fulfill my expectations…

Grace for my husband, for my girls.

Grace for my parenting. I’m not perfect, how can I be? I’m still new to this and I’m learning!

Grace to be a more Grace-FULL person.

Grace to be able to serve others better.

Grace to fail. -this one feels huge to me. Sometimes I’m so scared of failing I don’t start. Or I fail and I beat myself up so hard.

I know all about Grace in my head. Or so sometimes I tell myself I think I do. But this year I want to focus on grace so it penetrates into my heart.

“There is a remnant, chosen by grace. but if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works, otherwise grace would no longer be grace.” Romans 11:6

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work” 2 Corinthians 9:8

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

These are just some of my thoughts today. Hopefully I will continue to grow and think about Grace this year. That is the goal anyway. Ha!

I guess my word kind of works for the fact that I didn’t get this post out until February, right?

at least I’ll keep telling myself that!

So, what about you? Do you have a word for the year? Anyone else just putting their thoughts together now that it is February? #tellmei’mnottheonlyone! #canwejuststartthenewyearinFeb?

xoxo-kimberly renee

 

 

 

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word of the year

ok, so it’s already half way through February and i’m just now writing this. but really, it’s been on my mind since December. before i went into labor, it was New Years. on New Years, husbuddy and i thought up a few new year resolutions together. i also thought and prayed about a “word” for my new year. {here’s a good blog post about choosing 1 word for a whole year} SO…i’ve been trying to write this post since January 1st. {i guess i got kind of distracted along the way} 

in 2013, my  word of the year was Joy. you can read more about that here or this post 

as i’ve been learning how to be a momma to sweet Sophia, i’ve been praying for what God would have for me this year, her first year of life, my first year learning how to do this thing… the word that God keeps revealing to me is PEACE.

peace frame

i have such a desire for peace in my heart. it’s a prayer over and over that i’ve either said or that i’ve heard prayed for me this past month. it’s a word that God seems to want me to know, and know deeply.

  • i desire peace when worry keeps me awake at night.
  • i desire peace when i’m overwhelmed with being a new mother, with not knowing what i am doing.
  • i desire peace when she’s screaming in the middle of night and all i can do is cry
  • i desire peace amid all the “helpful” comments that come from every direction.
  • i desire peace when my to-do list seems to never get checked off.
  • i desire peace inside a house that’s constantly challenging us, is never clean, and is in constant need of repair.

peace is what i need to focus on this year. the peace that only God can provide.

the other day when i was thinking about this,  i was reading one of my favorite sections of scripture, Philippians 4. we all know these verses of course, but i was re-reading verses 6-7 and it struck me that this is the peace that i desire to envelope my life:

“do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

the peace that surpasses all understanding. i crave that more than water right now! and whats interesting is that these verses come after the command to rejoice. to find Joy in our Lord. verse 4 says:

“rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.” 

so, what’s interesting to me is that God wanted me to focus on Joy last year, and it is only natural, even to Paul, to focus on Peace next. peace comes when i first find all of my joy in Him. when i’m not focused on my own worries and anxieties, but when i notice HIM in the little things, and give thanks for everything. peace comes after the thanksgiving and after the joy. peace that GUARDS YOUR HEART. that’s what i crave. HIS perfect peace that will guard my heart from the world of worries and from my selfish anxieties.

then Paul continues in verses 8-9:

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise; think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me- practice these things and the God of peace will be with you.” 

our Father is a GOD OF PEACE. He desires to be with us. He desires to guard our hearts with HIS peace.

in my quest for His Perfect Peace this year, i am really just seeking HIM.

i’m sure i’ll be learning a lot more about this in the weeks and months to come…thanks for listening to my ramblings, friends. 

xoxo-kimberly renee

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JOY

my word for the year is:
joy4x5

after spending the weekend thinking about it and worried that the word sounds too flippant and trite… I prayed about it some more and it still stuck. i think it sounds too trite because iI don’t think we, as Americans, really understand what Joy means. i’m afraid that when I say my word is JOY you all will think it’s my goal to be some fake-happy-all-the-time kind of Christian. that is NOT what JOY means to me.

joy does NOT equal happiness.

how do i know this? because God calls us to be Joyful ALWAYS.  He says so multiple times in His word. {James 1:2, Phil. 4:4 for starters} He means all.the.time. even when life is good…and even when we’re walking through the impossible. Rejoice. even when we’re facing the worst things imaginable, we’re still called to be joyful. And that’s hard.  even impossible at times.

but He doesn’t say, “be happy”.  even Jesus got angry and even Jesus cried. these things aren’t wrong. But that is why Joy doesn’t equal happiness.

see, i am a pessimist.  i hate it about myself but i know it’s true. i always have wanted to be an optimist, but i just can’t make myself be one. i don’t see life that way. so for me, it’s really easy to live with a negative attitude all the time. It’s really easy to come home from work, and say the day was “just fine”. it’s really easy to think about all the things that should have been better.  i’m REALLY good at pretending to be joyful all the time and even desiring it, but i don’t usually have a very joyful attitude if I’m honest with myself.  but I know, and hope, that God has some things to teach me about living in Joy this year.

living in joy to me is about living in thanksgiving, living in hope, and living in peace. i know, it looks like i’m cheating by incorporating more words. HA. But i’m not, i promise!

the dictionary defines Joy this way:

a : the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires :delight

 b : the expression or exhibition of such emotion : gaiety

I am going to say that the first definition:  the emotion evoked by the prospect of possessing what one desires -is the closest that it comes to what I’m trying to say:

I possess the love of God. I possess the hope that HE has a plan and purpose for me! I possess the overwhelming feeling of thankfulness at what HE has done for me on the cross! And I posses true peace because I know that HE has me in the palm of His hand. These possessions will never be lost. They are my treasure that i delight in . And because they are my treasure, through everything , I can have joy.

this year, as i explained last week, is making me nervous. it is going to be another year full of new changes, new places and uncertainty as we wait for it all to come to fruition. but through it all, i pray that JOY will fill my heart and soul because i already possess everything i need. i want to be a girl who looks with Joy at the moment instead of the pessimist who can so often be filled with bitterness.

God has a lot of work to do in this heart of mine this year. may i learn how to truly live in HIS JOY.

thanks for being here, friends! have you decided on YOUR  “word of the year” for 2013?! i’d love to hear!

xo-kimberly renee

 

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one word for 2012

so, I’m 4 days late for any sort of resolution.  oh well. what can I say? I’m just a “running a little late” kind of gal. anyway, the past few days I’ve been thinking and praying about this up coming year. I wrote a little journal entry on the 1st that said something like this:

“a new year. another new year. there are so many dreams and good intentions that are thought about on this day. resolutions that that usually don’t get very far. that usually never see june, let alone december. but here I am…thinking about resolutions again…”

I have a list, of course, that goes on and on. All my little desires for myself and for this year.

All the things I see as failures in myself that in my heart I really do want to change-even if my real problem is that I have a lack of discipline… ack. let’s not talk about that.

See, my husbuddy said something as we were working on our “goal” list… {remember this post  from last year? yes, I realize that I was way too on top of it last year, thinking about it before it was even the first!}

anyway, he said that he didn’t want our goal list for this year to be too long, because he was worried about me. ME? I asked. He said that he knows that I’m a “glass half empty” girl and I get too sad at the end of the year when I see too many things on our goal list that aren’t checked off.

eek. way to stick it to me, sweetheart.

and so true.

I knew that I always kind of pretended to be a “half glass FULL” girl, I even tried to fool myself half the time, but I was hoping that no one else noticed that I’m not really that girl… o man. talk about humbling. Husbuddy noticed my little mask.

doh!

anyway. it got me thinking. I still have a list of resolutions and goals {um, exercise! pray! read the bible! draw every day! paint more! get out of debt! have a good savings!…yup, totally typical.} that I want to hang on to…

but maybe I need to really just focus on one thing.

maybe I just need one word.

contentment

contentment.

yes. that’s the “one word” I came up with.

definition: content

adj 1.mentally or emotionally satisfied with things as they are

2.assenting to or willing to accept circumstances, a proposed course of action, etc

vb 3.( tr ) to make (oneself or another person) content or satisfied:to content oneself with property

n 4.peace of mind; mental or emotional satisfaction

um. do you see that noun (number 4)definition? PEACE of MIND. um hello. I need that. I also totally need to remember to be “satisfied with the way things are” because God made today! He gave me this moment! it’s a gift! I can’t spend the whole year trying to “fix myself” through resolutions without being focused and content with who God has made me to be. But I think it’s more than this definition can describe.

This morning it really hit me as I read my study. I’ve never looked at one of my favorite sections of scripture, Philippians 4:1-13, under the lens of seeking contentment. My bible study helped me to realize that my thoughts often get in the way of contentment- I need to focus on what is good, encouraging and true (v.8-9) instead of discouragement, pettiness and destructive thinking as I so often do(v.2-3). Anxiety and worry ruins anyone’s contentment(v.6-7) and the peace of God which surpasses understanding can not be given to me unless I let go of that anxiety and trust God. I need to set aside my resistance to learn (v.11) and my independent and planning nature(v.13) that often tries to do my own thing and go my own way without consulting with the Tour Guide.

Paul says in Phil. 4:11-13 “…for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content…in any any every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

True contentment comes only as a gift from God, even to Paul.

Since my husbuddy pointed out that I’m a girl who looks at her world as glass half empty- I realized that I’m always disappointed with things. I always wish things were better. One day I’m not happy at work, the next day I’m not happy with staying at home all day! One day I’m not happy that I’ve spent all my free time with people who wanted to just hang out and I’m drained that I haven’t had any “me” time and the next day I’m lonely because no one wants to hang out. ack! what is wrong with me? I wish that things worked out differently. Big things in life sometimes go so wrong, don’t they? I question why God does the things He does and often times I try to fix them myself.

I’m ashamed to say that but I’m just being honest.

eek.

in that little sketch above I drew with a blue watercolor pencil rain coming down.

This year, 2012, my desire is to have contentment to wash over me like rain.

Contentment is my prayer.

can I get an AMEN?

It’s not going to be as easy as that. I realize that. It’s not my nature at all to let go. I realize that to have this word be real in my life I have to be diligent in some of my other goals (i.e.: read my bible, pray every day, and soak up time with Husbuddy!) but in the end, true contentment is really a gift because I’m not going to be able to “just be content” on my own. It’s my prayer, and it’s what I’ll work and pray for…

even if I’m only completely content for one whole day this year.

ha. but I’m going to seek to be content more than that (I mean, that’s the whole point of this, right?)

so who’s going to hold me accountable?

hee hee.

what about you? any one word come to mind that you’re going to focus on this year?

Happy 2012, friends!

xoxo-kimberly renee

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