Tag Archives | peace

field of wildflowers

how has it already been a week since i posted on this thing? time flies when you’re having fun! {OR when you’re totally swamped with nursing and naps… but i really can’t complain!}

anyway, i just wanted to share with you these RANDOM pictures from the other day.

see, there’s this pretty field that i drive by every other day. it was the most gorgeous yellow a few days ago because it is just covered in wildflowers. every time i passed it, i kept thinking how fun it would be to do a photo shoot in it! i casually mentioned that to Husbuddy once on our way to Lowes…

and on the way back home he pulled over and told me to get out! he said he’d do a loop around the block so i could frolick in the flowers and take some photos. now, i didn’t have my nice camera which i wish i had, but i still had fun frolicking and clicking. hee hee. field of wildflowers5

isn’t Husbuddy the best? he sees a little dream of mine and does whatever he can to make it happen. he thinks it’s crazy and silly and a little random but he loves me and so he kicks me out of the car.

field of wildflowers field of wildflowers3

you guys, i don’t know if it was the fact that i was just using my phone camera or what but these photos do NOT do this field any sort of justice!   field of wildflowers2

while i was standing in the field and trying to ignore the cars that drove by and probably thought i was crazy i kept thinking about what Jesus said about the lilies of the field.

 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin,  yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Matthew 6:25-34

aren’t we not more valuable than these flowers? these spring flowers that disappear so quickly? i feel like Jesus is giving us an incredulous look while he is saying this. he’s saying, you’re CRAZY to worry! God has it all under control! He will provide for you better than the birds or the flowers. they are so beautiful and yet He made you MORE beautiful.

do not worry, my friend.

and as i was standing in the midst of that field, feeling a little bit crazy for the frolicking… i felt peace.

field of wildflowers4

and wouldn’t you know the next day when i drove by this field the flowers were mostly gone. hmm… guess i’ll have to wait till next year to get out my good camera and do some more frolicking!

xoxo-kimberly renee

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jealousy, ugliness, and other such thoughts

oh hello jealousy. i thought we were done with you.

now that we have everything we’ve ever wanted. now that we have a house. now that i have an amazing daughter. that my husband has an amazing job and a church family that we just adore. we have each other and really, what more do we need? oh yes, i thought we were done with you. we have everything. we ARE SO BLESSED.

but then, i slip and  check facebook. {when i’m not even supposed to be on it for lent gosh darn it!}

i see friends who can afford to get GORGEOUS pictures of their newborn baby.

i see friends who can afford to buy a nicer/newer houses when ours is rebelling…{STILL} or  a fancier car when we are borrowing one, or those friends were able to meet up and get together {and why wasn’t i invited?}


jealousy is ugly isn’t it? i mean UGLY. really UGLY.

if i lived in my own little bubble and couldn’t compare myself to others, i’d be just fine. you know what i mean? comparison is the worst way i could spend my day. seriously.

but we all do it, don’t we?

i know that God is trying to share something with me when i hear little bits and pieces about a certain topic over and over. that’s how it’s been the past couple of weeks on this subject… on the radio i randomly hear someone talking about envy. at mops last friday a girl talked about comparison sucking the life right out of you, random conversations with friends wishing that we didn’t wish for more… LETS JUST SAY, the conviction of jealousy and envy has been rolling around in my head.

you know what i’ve been thinking about? that God doesn’t want me to be jealous. {um, duh…but maybe i just have a thick skull.}

He has created me just the way i am and HE has given me everything as gifts. the very air i breathe is a gift but more than that…

the flowers in our front planters that need to be weeded are a gift…

this roof over my head is a HUGE gift…

that man in the other room that loves me is a gift…

and of course that little girl who needs every part of me to love and care for her is such an amazing gift!

how spoiled and ugly is it when we i look over at what gifts He’s given someone else and i wish i had that instead of the things in my own hands? yikes…{!!}

HE commands me not to be jealous in Exodus 20:17

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.”

it’s a command. not because my life is perfect. but because HE knows exactly what i need and desire and HE is taking care of me better than i can myself.

to covet anything that my neighbor has steals joy. it steals peace.  and really, as far as i can tell, that’s why God commanded us not to envy. because HE KNEW that if we did it would steal the gifts of joy and peace and contentment from us! we can not be joyful when we keep looking to our left and right and wishing for something else. we can not be peaceful when we start counting all the things that we don’t have.

He says in Proverbs 14:30:

“A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.”

Peace is my word of the year. when i think of peace, i think of a “tranquil heart” like the verse above…that tranquil heart brings life. and that life, that tranquility , HIS tranquility, filling every part of me, is the REAL desire of my heart!

then in Galations 5:19-26:

” Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.”

you guys! envy and jealousy are listed right there next to sexual immorality, drunkenness and sorcery and the rest. it is SIN just like the rest. there is no “level” of worse sins…they are all sin. therefore, my comparing myself to others is a sin. it is a part of the flesh that i long to be rid of!

that other list, the fruit, that is what i desire.

Apostle Paul, the author of these verses, is reminding us that those of us who claim Christ as our Savior have crucified the flesh, the desires of the flesh. HE went to the cross, this Good Friday, because of my jealousy and my selfish envy. because i sat there wasting my day comparing myself to my friends.

man. i am such a sinful creature. i do not deserve the gifts He has given me, let alone the ultimate Gift of His love and life!

friends, i pray that you are better than i am with the comparison game. hopefully it’s not a struggle for you like it is for me. but i pray that this week we remember that Christ went to the Cross FOR US. He gives of Himself so that we have want for nothing!! we need nothing else than His saving grace.

i know i’ll be thinking about that this week and i hope you will too!

xoxo-kimberly renee


ps-why do i share this with you? it’s a little personal isn’t it? i share it because i promised myself i’d be real on here. when i feel like i’m learning something, it brings God glory for me to share what i’m learning instead of hiding it away to myself. i long to give Glory to God by sharing what is real and true in my life. if i hide behind the screen and seem perfect in any way, that is a lie. so that’s why.

pps- these pretty pictures are japanese cherry blossoms from when we lived in Princeton. things are barely starting to bloom here, hoping to find some of these trees in Lancaster too because they’re my favorite!

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be still

looking out window2

“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”

Psalm 46:10

looking out window

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you”

Isaiah 26:3

looking out window3

thinking about my word of the year, and in longing to be a woman of peace, i must keep my eyes on Him who made all thing. i must be still to know Him, whom i trust to provide all things.

peace comes from HIM alone.

xoxo-kimberly renee

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word of the year

ok, so it’s already half way through February and i’m just now writing this. but really, it’s been on my mind since December. before i went into labor, it was New Years. on New Years, husbuddy and i thought up a few new year resolutions together. i also thought and prayed about a “word” for my new year. {here’s a good blog post about choosing 1 word for a whole year} SO…i’ve been trying to write this post since January 1st. {i guess i got kind of distracted along the way} 

in 2013, my  word of the year was Joy. you can read more about that here or this post 

as i’ve been learning how to be a momma to sweet Sophia, i’ve been praying for what God would have for me this year, her first year of life, my first year learning how to do this thing… the word that God keeps revealing to me is PEACE.

peace frame

i have such a desire for peace in my heart. it’s a prayer over and over that i’ve either said or that i’ve heard prayed for me this past month. it’s a word that God seems to want me to know, and know deeply.

  • i desire peace when worry keeps me awake at night.
  • i desire peace when i’m overwhelmed with being a new mother, with not knowing what i am doing.
  • i desire peace when she’s screaming in the middle of night and all i can do is cry
  • i desire peace amid all the “helpful” comments that come from every direction.
  • i desire peace when my to-do list seems to never get checked off.
  • i desire peace inside a house that’s constantly challenging us, is never clean, and is in constant need of repair.

peace is what i need to focus on this year. the peace that only God can provide.

the other day when i was thinking about this,  i was reading one of my favorite sections of scripture, Philippians 4. we all know these verses of course, but i was re-reading verses 6-7 and it struck me that this is the peace that i desire to envelope my life:

“do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

the peace that surpasses all understanding. i crave that more than water right now! and whats interesting is that these verses come after the command to rejoice. to find Joy in our Lord. verse 4 says:

“rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.” 

so, what’s interesting to me is that God wanted me to focus on Joy last year, and it is only natural, even to Paul, to focus on Peace next. peace comes when i first find all of my joy in Him. when i’m not focused on my own worries and anxieties, but when i notice HIM in the little things, and give thanks for everything. peace comes after the thanksgiving and after the joy. peace that GUARDS YOUR HEART. that’s what i crave. HIS perfect peace that will guard my heart from the world of worries and from my selfish anxieties.

then Paul continues in verses 8-9:

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise; think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me- practice these things and the God of peace will be with you.” 

our Father is a GOD OF PEACE. He desires to be with us. He desires to guard our hearts with HIS peace.

in my quest for His Perfect Peace this year, i am really just seeking HIM.

i’m sure i’ll be learning a lot more about this in the weeks and months to come…thanks for listening to my ramblings, friends. 

xoxo-kimberly renee

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why we moved to Lancaster {PA}

whew. this could be a really long story! it’s a story of God’s providence in our lives to bring us to this place. it’s a story  that’s a work in progress.

back in December, scratch that…it starts earlier. back in 2008 Husbuddy applied to go to Seminary… ha, ok, that’s going to make a really long story. and you’ve been around for the seminary part! what you didn’t know, is that originally Husbuddy went to seminary to continue on and do his PHD and then become a professor or teacher. that was what he thought he wanted to do.  but through a couple rather large, life altering events that happened while we were in Princeton, God’s voice was heard in Husbuddy’s life.

God called Husbuddy to preach. to teach and to love His people. to be a Pastor.

whew! at first it was a shock to me.  we moved all the way from Idaho to New Jersey to become a professor! it was still ministry that we felt called to, but to be a professor meant to me to have a stable profession of teaching at a college. {little did i know then… that’s not really a stable job…but that’s what i thought} but then God started to work on my heart. i was reminded of the many times that i’d asked Him to use me, to use us. i was reminded of the very reason i had started dating this man back in 2004…because i had been shown that we could glorify God better together, then we could on our own.  {i had made Husbuddy work pretty hard at pursuing me for a while until God revealed that to me…hee hee} we are a team. i knew that then, i know that now. i don’t necessarily know my part of the “team” here yet, but at the time i just tried not to worry about it.

last year, Husbuddy graduated from Princeton Seminary with his MDiv. Techincally, he could have started looking for a pastor position then. but we felt called to go to the northshore of Boston {read about what i said about that calling last year, here} so that he could study more about how to preach. that’s why we were in Gloucester for year. he graduated in May from Gordon Conwell Seminary with his THM in Preaching.

now, at least theoretically, he knows better how to preach. this was really important to him because he feels that declaring God’s word is one the most important things a pastor does week in and week out… that makes him tremble with fear because God’s word is such a mighty thing! he learned so much this past year, and he is excited to be able to put his theories into practice…

now, back to December…Husbuddy was starting to apply to every pastor position in the Evangelical Presbyterian Church  {or EPC -our denomination} he could find. as most first time pastors do, he got turned down a lot. he didn’t have enough experience! it was ok, i knew that God wouldn’t bring us this far without a plan for our future, but the stress level this winter around our apartment was rather high.

thankfully, Husbuddy is very type A- as in, totally organized and on top of scheduling- so he was very diligent in getting out his resume and information. he kept me informed about which churches said maybe and which ones said no…but honestly they all blurred together in my head. i only kept asking about “the one in Pennsylvania” because at first i was annoyed that he even applied there.

…ok… give me a break. i was annoyed because it was only TWO HOURS away from Princeton, NJ! hadn’t we just left that area? weren’t we wanting to live closer to our families and in a different part of the country? {there are so many reasons i did NOT like NJ} BUT little did i know, two hours away was really a million miles because of how different it is here, that’s a relief 🙂  but more on that later…

really, my annoyance just goes to show how ignorant i am and how if i really trusted God with my future like i said i did, i wouldn’t have been such a baby. 

anyway, this “church in Pennsylvania” kept in touch pretty regularly. one of the things Husbuddy was most impressed with was that they were prompt and always kept him informed about the next step and what was going on. THIS IS HUGE for my type A man. so many churches completely blew him off and never even responded to his emails or phone calls. that’s one of his biggest pet peeves… so the fact that this church in Pennsylvania was responsive encouraged him.

then one day he got asked to do a skype interview.

after that… he got asked to come down to meet with the church! and they asked me to tag along!

that weekend was an amazing weekend of witnessing God’s providence and peace. it was full of peace because by the end of it we KNEW without a doubt, this was where we belonged. we felt that if we said “no” to this church, we’d be saying “no” to God’s providence.  after that weekend, we KNEW that we belonged there and that God had been working -both in the history of the church and in the history of our few years- to bring us to this place.


we moved almost two weeks ago. it feels longer.

we moved with thanksgiving in our hearts and hope in our steps because we were just following the road that has been divinely marked out for us. we are SO thankful and SO humbled that God actually had a plan for our little lives and that He has chosen to show us just a glimpse of how He is working.

we are also so thankful for these amazing people. we have been SO BLESSED you guys! so blessed. i can’t even describe how welcomed and loved we’ve already felt!  we are excited for what these next weeks, months and years will bring with our new family and friends.


Husbuddy has now been an assistant pastor for 6 days.

that means i have been a pastor’s wife for 6 days. i have no idea what i’m doing in that department, but i figure i better just show up,  love people and God will do the rest. {i have lots of things to talk about here, but we’ll leave that for another day} 

and that’s why we moved to Lancaster, PA.

thanks for reading our story! hopefully the testimony of God’s providence gives hope to you. God IS working in every little detail in our lives. He wants to use us if we will let Him. and guess what, there is peace in that.

xo-kimberly renee

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a sad day

image via

my heart aches and i start to cry at all of these images. that place you see is my home town. it is right next door to my parent’s house. my family is evacuated and safe, now just waiting and watching the flames and hoping. hoping that it will end.

i have no words to really express what i’m feeling, what we’re all feeling, besides, crying out to my God. may this verse bring peace amidst the storm.

image via

1” But now thus says the LORD,

he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
3 For I am the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
4 Because you are precious in my eyes,
and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
peoples in exchange for your life.
5 Fear not, for I am with you;
I will bring your offspring from the east,
and from the west I will gather you.
6 I will say to the north, Give up,
and to the south, Do not withhold;
bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the end of the earth,
7 everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made.”

Isaiah 43:1-7

image via

it is a sad, sad day indeed.

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simple pleasures

sometimes one little moment of simple pleasure is all it takes to smile. to open your eyes and be thankful. to be thankful for sunshine. to find peace in the wind rustling through the trees. to soak in everything around you.

one little moment that takes your breath away and makes you happy to be alive.

this weekend, it just a simple pleasure of sitting next to the pool that made me thankful for simple pleasures.  that, and i LOVE soaking up some summer sun! 🙂

may you find some simple pleasures to soak up this week. happy Monday, friends!

xo-kimberly renee.

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