tea time chatting about dreams

let’s have a little tea time chat. we’ll do some small talk about how we’re doing, but i have to tell you, i hate small talk. i usually go pretty deep, pretty fast. because i want to know how YOU are really doing. and i want to hear your heart. and then i’d share a little bit of what God’s been teaching me too.

Mama daughter morning tea time ❤️ #gottateachheryoung #pioneerwomanmug #didntgiverhertheprettymug @thepioneerwoman

A photo posted by kimberly renee (@kimberlyreneeh) on

sometimes dreams die. dreams that you’ve had for a while, for months, for years, for however long, sometimes they just have to die. we can’t fulfill all of our dreams, you know? for example, one of my dreams when i was little was to be an actress. LOL. don’t fall off your chair from laughing. don’t worry, that dream died rather heartbreakingly when some rather rude “teacher” told me i had a horrible singing voice and had no business being here… with an eyeroll. yup. that’ll kill a dream. ok you can laugh for a second. but sometimes dreams die when people do. sometimes dreams die when you can’t pass that next test. sometimes dreams die when you don’t make the cut. sometimes dreams die by choice and sometimes it’s from other circumstances. do you know what i mean? there is a brokenness to life that means things don’t always go perfectly or as you planned. but that’s just it. plans are just plans. we can’t always control things, and we shouldn’t! sometimes we make our own plans and dreams, on our own, without consulting our maker. we may do it in His name, we may even work hard and try to present as some sort of gift. we lift it up and say, “see? look what i made!” like a little child showing his daddy the mud castle he made as a gift. but when our eyes are focused on the THING, rather then the maker, the DREAM rather then the one who owns all the dreams, that’s when things may get rough. ** i have been in the place of watching dreams die the last few months. it’s been a slow process. it takes time. i feel broken and i feel like a failure.   sometimes houses get torn down by a bulldozer in a day, sometimes it takes weeks of removing one stone at a time. but i’m reminded, it’s not about me or my dream anyway.

“For you have died, and your life is hidden in Christ.” Colossians 3:3

i have died. my dreams have died and really must die over and over for “my life” because i choose Christ. He is in control – my life is “hidden” with Christ , i do not know the plans He has for me, but He knows them(Jer. 29:11). every day i have to die to my own selfishness and trust that Christ has a purpose and plan for my life. if i claim to be a Christian, it’s not about my life and my dreams. this seems strange to most. why would she give up her dreams and life?  why would she let them die? why doesn’t she just do them for herself? in this culture it’s all about promoting yourself and working hard to make it. but that’s just not what Jesus asks of us,

“Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 16:24-25

that is a hard pill to swallow. following Jesus has NOTHING to do with being healthy and wealthy and getting what you want. absolutely nothing. but if we choose to follow him daily, He has a purpose for us.

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10

i can be encouraged that the dying to myself will only bring more of Jesus. letting go of dreams, means there is space for new ones that can be placed there by Him, and for Him.

“For everything was created by Him, in heaven and on earth, the visible, and the invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities- all things have been created through him and for Him.” Colossians 1:16 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah. 29:11

Jesus knows my dreams. He has asked me to let go. {and even Sophia reminds me daily by singing her version of “Let it Go” from Frozen, “teddit go”} and He asks me to just look to Him and follow Him with where He has me right this moment. and in this moment, i’m reminded to be thankful. i’m so thankful to be a momma to a beautiful little girl who makes me laugh every day. “Give us this day, our daily bread“Matthew 6:11 -enough for today. He will provide for today. today i choose to follow Him.  

  This girl ❤️ #walkinginbiggirlshoes as she says, “love love.”   A photo posted by kimberly renee (@kimberlyreneeh) on


***

i ‘d probably have music playing in the background of our tea chat, and then i’d make you listen to this song. haha. i hate to link another song because i JUST did that, but seriously, this song is beautiful and i can’t stop listening to it: Nichole Nordeman: The Ummaking.  click on the link or search it. SO good. i love the line, “sitting in the rubble, i can see the stars” and “only when we’re broken, are we whole”

This is where the walls gave way
This is demolition day
All the debris, and all this dust
What is left of what once was
Sorting through what goes and what should stay

Every stone I laid for You
As if You had asked me to
A monument to Holy things
Empty talk and circling
Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do

What happens now
When all I’ve made is torn down
What happens next
When all of You, is all that’s left

This is the unmaking
The beauty in the breaking
Had to lose myself
To find out who You are
Before each beginning
There must be an ending
Sitting in the rubble
I can see the stars
This is the unmaking

The longer and the tighter that we hold
Only makes it harder to let go
But love will not stay locked inside
A steeple or a tower high
Only when we’re broken, are we whole

(chorus)

I’ll gather the same stones where
Everything came crashing down
I’ll build You an altar there
On the same ground

‘Cause what stood before
Was never Yours

(chorus)

xoxo-kimberly renee

, , , , ,

2 Responses to tea time chatting about dreams

  1. Susan Houck November 18, 2015 at 8:51 pm #

    Oh Kim! When I look back over my almost 50 years on this earth, it has been the times when I was where you are right now, that I truly felt God the most. All else is a false sense of security. Regardless, Joy DOES come in the morning!

    Thank you for sharing your feelings and pain, and for the photos of Sophia. I mean this when I say that she is one of the cutest little girls ever! I just love her little upturned nose and her thoughtful disposition.

    Please, please call me if you need to talk to someone, or just want to get out of the house for the day.

    Susan

  2. Pam Holderman November 18, 2015 at 11:07 pm #

    Can’t wait to sit and talk and drink tea with you very soon so I can hear more. We need some girl time. Hugs

thanks for visiting! powered by WordPress.org

%d bloggers like this: